The Talks
are all light-hearted, amusing and interesting, but contain NO CRUDITY and
are not suitable for some events.
TALKS
1. 'CURTAIN UP'
An entertaining look at the world of showbusiness that includes a look at
some of the
LUCKY BREAKS that have led to stardom, the production of commercials, the
SPARE PARTS Agency for hands and legs, plus a great deal more.
2. 'THE HUMOUR THAT SURROUNDS US'
An amusing look at unintentional humour that surrounds us every day.
For example:
A sign outside a Barber's shop: 'Haircut while you wait'
While on holiday in Bournemouth my wife and I saw the following sign in a
large department store:
'During the period of renovation the basement will be found on the first
floor'.
3. 'TRUE PSYCHIC EXPERIENCES'
As a young man I experienced some events that are best described as
illogical, inexplicable and certainly unbelievable. Over the years, I have
been told many fascinating stories, frequently by people who tell me that
they have never before told anyone for fear of being ridiculed or considered
quite mad!
4. 'MY FARCICAL LIFE AS A PASSENGER LIAISON OFFICER ON THE NEVASSA'
While passing through a quiet spell in my theatrical career, it was
necessary to take a job in order to earn money. The shipping line,
British-India, offered me the job of Passenger Liaison Officer, where I
stayed for twice as long as any of my
predecessors, namely seven months. If it had not been for the passengers the
job would have been marvellous! It was not unusual to be asked: 'What
time is the
ten o'clock film this evening?'
'Is the MIDNIGHT
BUFFET at MIDNIGHT?'
On one occasion a Lady telephoned the Purser to say she could not get out of
her cabin. When the Purser asked for further details she said: 'Purser, when
I open one door I am in my bedroom, the other door is my bathroom. There is
a third door but it has a sign hanging on the handle that reads; DO NOT
DISTURB'.
5. 'THAT'S TRUE LIFE'
A selection of amusing true life experiences. Here are two examples:
'While sitting in a Midland Mainline train in St.Pancras I heard the
following announcement: 'We regret the late departure of this service to
Nottingham. Some of you will have noticed that we have a green signal to go.
Unfortunately, we do not have a driver!'.
The following announcement was made on a Virgin train travelling from
Scotland to London.
'Here is an announcement for passengers travelling in coach 'H'. Here is an
announcement for passengers travelling in coach 'H', your loudspeaker system
is
not working!'
6. 'FAMOUS PSYCHICS'
A look at some people who had quite amazing gifts
such as Leslie Flint, who produced voices that could
be recognised while he was tied and gagged in a chair
and Edgar Cayce who went into a trance and was able to
diagnose illnesses in people hundreds of miles away.
Colin Bower
Colin Bower
Colin Bower
